Thursday, April 25, 2013

So Bad, But Oh, So Good

Recipe: Alfredo Sauce
Source: The Old Farmer's Almanac: Everyday Recipes
Time: 10 minutes
Ease: 1
Taste: 5
Leftover Value: 5, does not freeze well
Down the Drain or Keep in the Strainer: Keep it in the Strainer

Alright.  We all know that heavy cream is the devil, and butter is his close, faithful subject.  We also know that sin in sweet for a short time, and then you wake up one morning with your thighs twice their normal size and when you stand up your feet disappear.

If you can forget all that, please enter the world of Alfredo sauce.

The good news is that by making this recipe you avoid all the preservatives of buying Alfredo sauce in a jar and you shave off probably half the fat you would have had if you ordered it at a restaurant.

The bad news is that it involves heavy cream, and if you've been paying attention so far heavy cream = devil.

While this is not the absolute best Alfredo sauce I've ever had, it is workable all things considered.  Up until this recipe, making homemade Alfredo sauce involved a Kraft recipe where cream cheese was the main component.

So again, all things considered, this is a pretty good recipe.

The only issues I had were:
1. It does not freeze well.
2. Even though I was generous with the amount of garlic and seasonings I put in it, it could have still used more.


Here's what you'll need:
+1/2 stick butter
+1 cup heavy cream
+1 1/2 cups freshly grated Parmesan
+minced garlic
+salt
+pepper
+nutmeg
+parsley

This sauce literally takes less than ten minutes to make.  Make sure to boil the water for the fettuccine well beforehand.


Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium-low heat.

I love melting butter.  It is one of my top ten reasons for getting up each morning.


After the butter is completely melted, stir in the cream.  Simmer for five minutes.


While the butter and cream simmer, grab a hunk of Parmesan cheese and grate a cup and a half.

Smile to yourself because you've had that Parmesan cheese sitting in your fridge lonely for a little over a month.  For a short time there you had been worried that it would never fulfill its lifelong destiny of becoming Alfredo sauce.

Perhaps I'm the only one with such an experience?

I hope not.


Add the cheese to the butter and cream.


Toss in some minced garlic.


Sprinkle in a little nutmeg.


If you want to get fancy, throw some broccoli or peas into the boiling water with the fettuccine.  Drain, then return back to the pot.


Give the Alfredo sauce a little whisk.


Realize that you forgot to add some parsley.  Sprinkle it in (and take a picture focusing on your pretty bracelet rather than the parsley).

Pour the sauce over the noodles and stir.


Convince yourself that this was so much healthier than buying a jar of Ragu Alfredo Sauce, which in the end, it really, truly, is.

It's all about eating with a clear conscience.



Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Down the Drain; It Hurts.

Every now and again a recipe turns out...well, not as desirable as I thought it would be.  I typically rate most recipes as "Keep it in the Strainer", meaning that they were good and worth making again.

Perhaps you've noticed this trend?

I have rated a few as "Down the Drain" but recently I realized I have developed a habit of avoiding writing about the "Down the Drain" recipes that I've made.  I took pictures of them, created files in my picture folder for them, but every time I went to write about a failed recipe I'd look at the pictures and say, "Next time".

Today I've decided to give you an overview of the "Down the Drain" recipes I've been avoiding.  This will get me up to speed and then hopefully I've overcome the fear of writing about them and just do it.

Here we go.

Pioneer Woman's Beef Stew:


This was so not what I was dreaming about when I planned my weekly menu with beef stew on it.  In all honesty, it was a waste of perfectly wonderful beef chuck.  I cried as I ate, thinking of the delicious Hungarian goulash I could have made with that beef chuck instead.

I don't fault Pioneer Woman though.  There is, of course, the possibility that I did something wrong.

But I'm not so sure.

The liquid was far too watery and before serving it, when I realized it wasn't looking the way I thought it should, I seriously considered making my own roux to thicken it up.

Alas, I am one of those cooks who sticks to the recipe the first time through and I just couldn't bring myself to alter it.

"It has to be good!", I told myself.

Oh well.


Next?  We have one of my own creations: Chicken and Broccoli Risotto.


I boiled through a river of chicken broth to experience what making true risotto is like.  In a word it is boring.

In a separate skillet, I made some garlic chicken and reserved it for when the risotto was finished cooking.

I made way way way too much risotto.

The good thing about this one was that it was only bland.  I'm certain you are thinking that is a bad thing, but really it isn't.  I figured out how to cook risotto, so now I know I need to lessen the amount I make and just play with seasonings.

Translation: I'll save this one to try again in the summer when I have nothing better to do with my time.


This next one I wanted to be wonderful so badly.  I think of Meg Ryan standing in the midst of a pastel wonderland of flowers at the end of "You've Got Mail".  The song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" drifts in and she finally finds out that Tom Hanks has been her secret email buddy who she has grown to love.  She says to him, "I wanted it to be you.  I wanted it to be you so badly".

That's the emotions I had towards these Corn Dog Muffins.


The muffin was very much like corn bread, but definitely not like a corn dog.

This is important.

The muffins worked.  But they were not corn dog muffins.  And I was sorely disappointed.

Note: Please don't think I'm picking on Pioneer Woman recipes.  I love her recipes.  Let's face it though, in the midst of a bunch of winners you're bound to find a few losers floating around.


This final recipe is the most shameful, especially because it's all the way from last summer.  That's how long I've been hiding this atrocity from you.

Chocolate Chip Reese's Peanut Butter Cookies


The error that came in this recipe was that I fell susceptible to ridiculous Pinterest pictures.

Note: I do not have a Pinterest account.

Note to the note: I do not have a Pinterest account for the very reason that got me into this Reese's trouble.  I will see pictures of things I want to do and either succeed by following directions and become very very fat, or fail by not following directions and become very very sad.


The moral of this story is:

1. Don't go on Pinterest if you want to stay sane and thin
2. Recognize that making a cookie with a Reese's in the middle requires a lot more than buying the candy bar sized Reese's and plopping them into the center of your favorite cookie recipe.


Now for an encore to this mind blowing post, I'd like to leave you with this picture:


This, at one point in time, was how much sauce I had in my freezer.

Note: There are only two people living in my house.

Note to the note: Don't judge me.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Brussels Sprouts Are...Delicious?

Recipe: Brussels Sprouts with Balsamic and Cranberries
Source: Pioneer Woman
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2011/12/brussels-sprouts-with-balsamic-and-cranberries/
Time: 40 minutes total
Ease: 3
Taste: 8
Leftover Value: 8
Down the Drain or Keep in the Strainer:  Keep it in the Strainer!

My vegetable education growing up was very basic.  In the world of my brothers and me, the only vegetables that existed were corn, carrots, peas, broccoli, and string beans.  If we could have had our choice, none of them would have existed.  We were the cliche children whose mother had to say, "Eat your peas!" and "If you don't eat your vegetables you aren't leaving this table!".

I think that might be why I struggle today to find satisfaction in snacking on veggies.

And also a reason my thighs are the size that they are.

But I'm going to keep telling myself that the last one is hereditary.

Regardless of these woes, I try.  I try to resist the urge to be the person at the dinner table who ignores the vegetables completely.  I try to serve at least one veggie with each meal, and I try to explore new realms.

Hello Brussels Sprouts.


These guys tend to get a bad rap.  I guess they were the peas of the generation before mine.  In fact, the only time I had ever seen a Brussels sprout was when someone my father's age used it as a visual for an example of something they disliked.

Hubby and I agreed that Brussels sprouts was a veggie we wanted to try, regardless the outcome.

The night I decided to make these bad boys I was in the middle of a spastic phone conversation with my older brother and sister-in-law and it was storming outside.

Then, the power went out.

It seems that them's is always the breaks.

Somewhere in my mass of craziness and confusion, I thought that the sprouts needed to roast, then go back into the oven with balsamic glaze and cranberries.

Silly me.

I ended up rushing the prep portion in order to end up with extra time on my hands with my sprouts in the dark (sorry about all the prepositional phrases...in that sentence; sorry I just couldn't help myself).

In the end, the only complaint I had was my own fault.  My balsamic mixture didn't end up as thick as I know it should have been and that was due to the phone call, the lights out, and the inability to read directions.


Yet all in all, they still looked beautiful.


And were the perfect pairing with my lemon chicken and ricotta and kale mashed potatoes.  More on those later?  I think yes...

Friday, April 5, 2013

Cookie Bars for Easter

Recipe: Cadbury Egg Cookie Bars
Source: The Picky Palate
Time: 1 hr 15 min, includes 30 minutes of cooling time
Ease: 2
Taste: 10
Leftover Value: 10
Down the Drain or Keep in the Strainer: Keep it in the Strainer!

I'm going to be completely honest as I start this post.  I do not normally eat Cadbury Creme Eggs.  The creme part just isn't my thing. 

Whew, glad that's off my chest.

But I do love Cadbury chocolate and the solid Cadbury eggs that are coated in a sugary shell.


The key ingredient to this recipe is: Cadbury Creme Eggs!

Shocking, I know.


I suppose because I've avoided these guys for so long, I had no idea that when bit into or sliced open they look like a real egg inside.

By the way, this was one of the hardest parts of this recipe.  As you can see from the above picture, not all the eggs sliced nicely in half.  


Another issue I faced was making sure the creme stayed with the chocolate shell instead of being wasted to my plate.

And while the Cadbury Creme Eggs were the key ingredient to these delicious cookie bars, the secret ingredient was a yellow cake mix.


It definitely feels like cheating whenever I use cake or pudding mix in a recipe.  Yet I've learned that the positives of using mixes outweigh my troubled heart.

1. It makes the recipe a tad easier to make.
2. Therefore, it lessens the amount of ingredients needed.
3. No one can tell the difference when they eat it.

While I love fooling my dessert partakers, my favorite part of using a mix is really lessening the amount of ingredients needed.  These cake bars needed only six ingredients: Cadbury Creme Eggs, butter, canola oil, yellow cake mix, chocolate chips, 1 egg--from a chicken, not chocolate.

For these cookie bars, the ingredients are literally dumped into a bowl and mixed.  Then the Cadbury Creme Eggs are lightly mixed in, they bake, and if you can wait 30 minutes for them to cool they are so easy to slice up and serve.


Don't they look divine?


That hunk of Cadbury chocolate in the corner of this bar just isn't right.  It's taunting me.  I might just have to run out and see if there are any Cadbury Creme Eggs left in the sale aisle of my local Acme.


The underbelly of the cookie bar is my favorite part.  The gooeyness of the creme from the Cadbury Eggs finds its way down there and leaves a yummy caramel layer on the bottom.

I'm sorry to be writing about these after Easter.  Hopefully, all the Cadbury Creme Eggs haven't sold out of your local grocery store and you can rush out today like me and buy a truck load in hopes that they'll last you until next Easter.