Fake Pound Cakes, Cous Cous, and Not-So-Deep-Dish Cookies

When I rate a recipe Down the Drain I have a painstakingly difficult time mustering the wherewithal to write about it.  Sometimes this is because I think, "Who am I to decide if a recipe is rotten or not?  One man's trash is another man's treasure.  That counts for recipes, right?"  Then other times it is because I think, "Who wants to read a post about a recipe that failed?"

So today, despite myself and my hesitations, I'm going to jam three Down the Drain recipes into this post.  

Here is why I'm pressing past my urges to not write about these Down the Drainers:

1. These recipes actually were rotten.  

2. I like to save others from making the same mistakes I've made.  

Recipe: Mini Pineapple Pound Cakes
Source: Eating Well Magazine, January/February 2014
http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/mini_pineapple_pound_cakes.html*
Time: 50 minutes, plus cooling time
Ease: 2
Taste: 1
Leftover Value: 5
Down the Drain or Keep in the Strainer: Down the Drain!

*Does anyone else find it crazy that we pay for magazines and cookbooks, but all the recipes in them can be easily found online?

I was so bothered by this pineapple pound cake that after tasting my first bite, I refused to take any more pictures of it.  I'm getting ahead of myself though.  Let me start with the process.

The making of this pound cake was simplistic, following the ordinary process of: 1. Mix dry ingredients, 2. Mix wet ingredients, 3. Mix dry and wet ingredients together.

I made no substitutions, as I normally make every effort to do.  I used white whole-wheat flour and coconut oil.  These are two items that, if you know me, I tend to shy away from.  White whole-wheat flour isn't quite as horrible as whole-wheat flour alone, and I just happened to have coconut oil left over from another recipe I had recently made.

However, in the end this "pound cake" was pound cake in name alone.  A pound cake is meant to be dense and ridiculously buttery.  I should have known better when I was leafing through a magazine titled, "Eating Well", but somehow I thought there was a magic pound cake fairy out there who would make this recipe better for me to eat, but with the taste and flavor of a regular bad-for-you pound cake.

Foolish, foolish girl.

The sweetest part of this "pound cake" were the pieces of pineapple throughout the center.  That couldn't mask the airy texture, overpowering dryness, and bland flavor.  The worst part?  I brought it with me to Bible study to share with friends.  Boy, was I glad I brought two other desserts that didn't come from anywhere making an attempt to 'eat well' where dessert is concerned. 

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Recipe: Israeli Couscous Salad with Roasted Vegetables
Source: http://www.twopeasandtheirpod.com/israeli-couscous-salad-with-roasted-vegetables/
Time: 1 hour
Ease: 3
Taste: 4
Leftover Value: 0 --This sadness went into the trashcan.
Down the Drain or Keep in the Strainer: Down the Drain

It looks beautiful, doesn't it?  This recipe comes from my days spent doing the Daniel Fast earlier this year.  I have a new found interest in vegetarians after that whole madness, and especially after eating this recipe.

I should have known that a recipe that was essentially vegetables and couscous couldn't be filling nor satisfying to me, but I tried.  Good Lord, I tried.  You'll notice my picture and the picture from the blog's posting of the recipe are quite different.  My mistake was pouring too much of the dressing over my couscous salad, even though I made the correct amount according to the recipe.

All the elements of this recipe were things I like so I had no grievance there.  It just was a strange combination that didn't work for dinner.  Something about the dressing didn't mesh quite right with the couscous.  It could always be that my taste buds aren't used to balsamic soaked grains.  

For the effort it took to make this recipe, I would much rather make Pioneer Woman's Corn Roasted Salad and serve it with a side of couscous.

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Recipe: Deep Dish Cookie Pie
Source: http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2011/05/31/deep-dish-cookie-pie/
Time: 1 hour
Ease: 2
Taste: 5
Leftover Value: 5
Down the Drain or Keep in the Strainer: Down the Drain

Let me start by telling you what persuaded me to make this recipe: Garbanzo beans.  This recipe uses Garbanzo beans instead of butter.  Brilliant.  I love it.  It's fantastic.

A while ago I made brownies using part butter and part black beans.  You couldn't taste the difference.  When I asked my family member guinea pigs that I served it to, they had no idea the mystery ingredient.  Naturally, I had high hopes with this recipe.

It looks exactly like a deep dish cookie you might order out at a restaurant.  But really, it is no equal.  I was easily persuaded by the recipe's author.  She made it sound divine, delightful, and decadent.  

The one winning factor was how little effort I had to put in to make it.  The ingredients are blended together in a food processor (clearly mine was maxed to its full capacity), then dumped into a prepared pan.

If only all desserts were that simple.

The chocolate chips and comforting warmth of the dessert were what pushed me to eat the entire piece I served myself.  The oats, though the recipe promised could not be recognized, were an obvious consistency in each bite.  I'd rather skip dessert if this is what was served, or eat the bad stuff and suffer the consequences of the extra calories.

My Recipe Binders and Menu

Seven years ago, I was terrified by the thought of cooking dinner day in and day out.  I was also fifteen pounds lighter, but that's another story and a very unfortunate one.

I barely had any recipes to work off of, save a recipe card binder my mother compiled for me and a slow cooker book Mary, a long time family friend, bought me for my bridal shower.

Then Kraft's "Food and Family" magazine started to show up in my mailbox.  The recipes were simple, and to the cooking standards I have today, they were child's play.  They did, however, keep my husband from having the same three meals recycled over and and over again throughout the month.  

When a recipe in the magazine looked good enough to eat, I tore it out and stored it in a binder.

A binder.  Emphasis on a.

Now I have five binders.

The Kraft recipes were only the beginning.  Eventually recipes printed from the internet, pulled from other magazines, and copied from friends became a part of my binder until it reached the point that one binder simply wasn't enough.  Desserts mixed with dinners, dinners mixed with appetizers--the disorganization was too much for me to bare.

From one, the binders became two: one for desserts and one for dinners.  Until that became too unorganized and overstuffed.  So came the need for five.

It may seem outrageous.  It may seem over the top.  But it makes my life so beautifully simple.

And despite the chaotic glow I always feel about me, I love simple.

Here is the run down on my binders:

White and Orange Binder: Recipes that have not been tried yet

Orange Binder: Tips and tricks of the kitchen

White binder: Appetizers and sides

Pink Binder: Dinners

Green Binder: Desserts

If you have a lot of recipes printed from offline or recipes you've saved from magazines, I highly recommend this method.  Recipes are first added to the white and orange binder.  After I make them for dinner, dessert, etc. one of three things will happen.  They'll either go into the trashcan (down the drain), into the binder they belong to (keep in the strainer), or remain in the white and orange binder for a second try before I make a commitment.

Of course, it couldn't be as simple as categorized binders.  No, within the binders there are categories too.

We can't have seafood recipes mixed with chicken, or cookies mixed with cakes, can we?

Part of me is really proud when I look at these pictures and another part of me realizes that I'm just a teensy bit psycho to have spent time of my life on this.  It's all about efficiency though, I swear.  Down the line having organized and categorized my binders in such a fashion will save more time than I ever spent on organization.

At least I hope.

The issue I was faced with when I went to five binders was where to store them among my bazillion other cookbooks.  I'm up to four shelves of cookbooks now, but who is counting?

One of the most painstaking things about preparing dinner is deciding what to make.  It is a responsibility of massive greatness.  The attitude of everyone surrounding your dinner table will be effected by it.  The will either love you or hate you.

I don't think husbands realize this.  Most times when I would ask my hubby what he wanted for dinner he would say, "I don't know," or "I don't care", or--even better yet--"Surprise me."

Oh goodness.  What 'Surprise me" does to my blood pressure.

There were nights when we were first married where the scrambling to decide on what to make for dinner took almost as much time as the preparation of the meal itself.

Thanks to a finance class I attended at my church, I learned how to overcome this battle.*

*I'm sure this is confusing, it will make sense, I promise.

For one of our classes, a mother of four children taught us how she plans out her food for the month and also how much money she allotted for food.

I tried to take from her financial advice, but I rarely can stick as close to what she said she did ($50 per person for the month!).  I'm probably closer to double that.

What most peaked my interest was that she showed our class a printed out menu listing everything she was planning to make for dinner for the month.  There were some dinners that played off of leftovers of other dinners and others that incorporated similar ingredients.  

If you can allot one day towards the end of your month as your menu planning day, you will save yourself that agonizing stress of "What should we have tonight?" and "Oh no, I have no ingredients for this or that, looks like it's boxed mac and cheese again."

During your planning day, fill a month calendar with what you will cook each night and don't forget the sides!!*  I plan easier meals or crock pot recipes for the nights I work late and more difficult meals for my weekends or free nights.

*This WILL take at least 30 minutes to an hour.  Don't convince yourself that it is a painless task.  It sounds simple, but month in and month out it does become difficult--but it is SO worth it if you can push through.

Be as descriptive as possible.  Some recipe names you will know right away what to do or where to find the recipe, others you'll need to write the name of the recipe book and page number or you'll end up staring at it thinking, I know I knew where this recipe was, but now....

Don't forget to add in nights that you'll be eating out, going to a party, or having company.

After your menu is complete, don't get too relaxed.  This next step I usually do as I am adding dinners to my menu so that I don't need to do it at the end.  See what works for you.  The final step is to make your shopping list.  Don't try to do this from memory.  Pull out the recipes and make sure you have everything you need.  Trust me, you'll be smacking yourself in the head if you don't when you realize that heavy cream was an essential ingredient for tonight's dinner.

Then again, when isn't heavy cream an essential ingredient for dinner?

I'm kidding.

Then again, maybe not.

If you cook dinner every night, or if you're tired of not cooking dinner every night due to the torment of the question, "What should I make?, try making a menu.  You don't have to be insane like me and have a different recipe for everyday of the month.  One of my sister-in-laws told me she was haunted by my menu.  She woke up in the middle of the night tortured by the fact that I had not one recipe repeating on it.  Let me be clear, this is a personal problem and not something that anyone need feel compelled to do. 

Have Tuesdays always been Taco Tuesdays?  Good.  Put it on the menu.  

Are Friday nights Pizza Night?  Put it on the menu. 

Then fill in the holes with other recipes you want to try out.

Good luck!